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Ties That Bind Review

by | May 13, 2011 | Reviews, The 2000s | 3 comments

Actual DirecTV Synopsis

A young couple jeopardize their marriage when they rent their guesthouse to a seductive woman.

WML Guess Synopsis

After a high school couple gets kinky with sexual lace ties, they won’t come off and the parents have just gotten home from work.

Level of Attention While Watching: Devoted Husband

Devoted Husband: Was giving the movie 100% of my attention

With Wife, but Thinking of Mistress: Watching the movie, but not giving it my full attention

Cheating Bastard: I wasn’t paying much attention to the movie at all

Brian Krause

Brian Krause

Dave

Brian Krause is my favorite character in “Ties That Bind”.  He plays Dave, the married doctor going through residency who must avoid the sexual temptations of the hotter-than-his-wife houseguest.  At first I didn’t like him, but he was very commanding of his women and let them know who wears the pants.

Nicole de Boer

Nicole de Boer

Megan

Dave’s wife Megan is played by Nicole de Boer who does a fine job.  She’s working to support Dave while he does his residency and becomes good friends with the hotter-than-she-is houseguest and doesn’t anticipate the house guest trying to seduce her husband.

Sonya Salomaa

Sonya Salomaa

Courtney Allison

The hot/sexy/blonde/big breasted houseguest, Courtney Allison, is played by Sonya Salomaa.  Not only does she have two first names to make up her full character name, her real name ends with two As, that’s unheard of, unless it’s a porn or LMN movie.  Salomaa does a great job as the seductive houseguest though.

The Movie (with spoilers)

Talk about a movie having it all.  If you’re looking for murder, an affair, consensual sex, non-consensual sex but really it’s probably consensual, attractive woman trying to get a married doctor, cheap production, and a nosy old lady neighbor, then you’ve come to the right movie in “Ties That Bind.”  The movie starts out with a young couple looking through a big house that appears to be out of their price range, but Megan (Boer) encourages her husband, Dave (Krause), that they can afford it, all because it comes with a guest house they could rent out to a smokin’ hot blonde and that’d help take care of a lot of the mortgage until Dave is out of residency and becomes a doctor making the big bucks.

Before Dave starts to look for a tenant, there’s a scene that flashes to him at the hospital where a young woman comes in with her husband and is hurt, but she’s saying it was an accident, then a cute blonde nurse named Courtney (Salomaa) with glasses and pony tail takes the patient off to a separate room from her husband to try and get the real story from her but the husband insists on being in on the conversation so the wife can’t say what a violent man he is.  Luckily Super Doctor-to-Be Dave comes by and helps the nurse by escorting the husband away from the room.  During this scene I thought, “Gee, that nurse is probably going to be the cutest girl in this movie, too bad she’s only in it for this small role.”  Little did I know, she’d end up being the one who rents out the guest house as Dave put up a Tenant Wanted flyer with those little phone number rip off things on the hospital bulletin board and she grabs one of the rip off things.  Also, little did I know that’d not be the only thing of Dave’s she’d grab in the movie.

Megan interviews a lot of house tenant candidates while Dave is working hard at the hospital.  The movie throws in a few wanna-be-funny-cute tenants, one of them is a stripper, then the others are just weird, but if you’re a 45 year old woman watching this movie, you probably sincerely laughed.  Eventually there’s this dude who pretty much has the position won over any other applicant and then Courtney shows up to the house at the last minute and fills out an app but also lets every other application fly into the pool while she’s filling hers out.  Megan apparently doesn’t see anything threatening about Courtney or her larger-than-Megan’s-breasts-by-two-cup-sizes breasts and decides she’s a suitable applicant for the guest house.

Dave with a decent Judge Reinhold impression, just need The Cars “In Stereo” playing now.

Megan and Courtney actually kick it off and become good friends.  They begin sitting out by the pool with each other chit chatting about women stuff.  Dave even comes home from work while they’re chit chatting by the pool and then Courtney takes her little outer wear off to reveal a tight slim bikini body before she gets into the hot tub and innocently flirts with Dave right in front of Megan who doesn’t mind for whatever reason.  Dave then goes into the house and looks out the blinds while Courtney is lying down with her back swimsuit straps undone.  I bet if the movie had more time, it would have had him fantasizing about Courtney coming out of the swimming pool and taking her top off (LINK NSFW).

Courtney continues to do whatever she can to get into the life of Dave and Megan.  She just happens to run into Dave while they’re eating in the hospital cafeteria.  One time right after she interrupts him at lunch, she then says she needs a prescription for some medicine.  Dave, being the good/responsible doctor he is, isn’t very excited to write her one, but he decides… just this one and in case his wife ever leaves him he’s at least scoring some points with Courtney to have easier access to her pants in the future although he doesn’t know the pants would come off with the snap of his fingers.  Writing Courtney that illegal prescription comes back to almost haunt Dave a bit later on when he’s talking to the head doctor at the hospital and inviting him over for dinner, she just comes by and asks if she can get another prescription right in front of Dave and the head doctor.

Another great scene with Courtney and Megan is when Courtney tests the water and goes to Megan to be comforted after talking about her fiance who died or something along those lines.  This requires a girl hug and then Courtney tries to turn it into more of a hug and then kisses Megan.  *Surprisingly Megan digs this and continues to kiss back.  Soon enough all the clothes are on the floor and Megan and Courtney are really getting to know each other if you know what I mean.  Then Dave walks in and instead of confronting Megan about what she’s doing, he’s invited to join in and then he gets to know Courtney a little more as well.* (Everything inbetween the *s is strictly a fantasy, but it would have been cool had it happened)

In all seriousness, Courtney does so much stuff to piss Dave and Megan off that I lost track of each individual act so let me try to summarize some of them:

  • Courtney brings a man over and takes up the pool.
  • When Dave and Megan are having a really important dinner with the head doctor at the house, Courtney is having an MTV Real World like party outside in the pool.
  • Dave and Megan fight and Courtney calls the cops on them, only Megan thinks it’s the old lady neighbor while Dave thinks its Megan, this puts Megan more on Courtney’s side and against Dave.
  • While Megan is out on runs, Courtney sneaks into the house and snoops around.
  • Finally Dave and Megan ask Courtney to leave, but she won’t and they can’t really evict her without cause so they start to dig up evidence on her.  She lied about her real name and has some crazy past I believe.

After it’s been established that Courtney is clearly crazy, she is able to tie up Dave in bed (although he thinks it’s Megan since he has eye covers on) and then she basically rapes him and gets it all on film.  Although Dave was tied down by Courtney while she went at it, we both know Dave enjoyed every little bit of it.  Afterwards Dave was all like, “This never happened…” but really he’s like, “When can this happen again?”

Finally Courtney starts taking blood.  Megan’s lawyer friend gets papers to serve Courtney an eviction and delivers them over to the guest house and sneaks in, but Courtney comes home and while the friend is able to escape the house Courtney ends up killing the friend.  I believe Courtney then kills the old lady neighbor as well too.  Things get ugly when she prints off the sexisode of her and Dave going at it and then leaves the pics for Megan to find.  Megan goes searching for Courtney and then it turns into a big chase each other around and try to not get killed while trying to kill the other person scene to finish off the movie.  Dave gets involved and then the cop that came over earlier gets involved, but he doesn’t know Courtney is bad yet and she steals his gun and shoots him.  Luckily he’s able to come back later in the movie and save Dave and Megan from being killed.  Eventually Courtney ends up getting killed off and Megan and Dave are living happily ever after.  Oh and Dave was accepted as a doctor at the hospital as well.

Intense Moments with Keith

Intense Moment #1

When Megan was out for an afternoon run, she leaves the keys in her mailbox, Courtney knows this and takes it and goes into the house.  Megan then comes back from her run and I thought maybe Courtney was going to murder her!  Actually I don’t think I thought that, I think I just thought Megan would find Courtney sniffing Dave’s clothes or something.

Intense Moment #2

Before Megan’s lawyer friend was killed by Courtney, she was in the guest house trying to serve papers to Courtney, although Courtney wasn’t home.  Courtney then of course came home and the lawyer friend was then stuck in the guest house with Courtney but needed to get out.  There were some real close calls and the lawyer friend had to do some very smooth moves in order to avoid being seen by Courtney.  She ended up making it out of the guest house but was later stabbed and thrown into the pool and died.

Fake Search Engine in the Movie

The fictitious search engine in “Ties That Bind” is Dogpile.  Oh what’s that you say?  It’s not fake?  Well then, great name for a terrible search engine – can’t quite be used as a verb – “I don’t know, did you Dogpile it?”

Other Possible Titles

  • The Guest House Renter
  • The Tenant
  • What Women Will Do for a Doctor

Closing Thoughts

Two words: “Loved” and “It.”  As I mentioned before, it had everything you could want from a LMN movie – great cheese factor, cheap production, no big name actors, great story line, murders, an attempted affair kind of, framing of someone, and a fake search engine to top it off!  Highly recommended if you say to yourself, “I need to waste my lifetime.”