Foxy Knoxy and Boyfriend Split
It’s been reported (from here, here, and here to name a few) today that Hayden Panettiere has split from her Ukranian boxer boyfriend, Wladimir Klischko. Panettiere is probably best known for her role on the NBC show “Heroes” which I hear sucked after one season. She was big enough to get her own action figure though. More importantly Panettiere has starred in such Lifetime movies as “Amanda Knox: Murder on Trial in Italy” and “Lies My Mother Told Me,” both of which will someday be reviewed on WasteMyLifetime.com.
This was somehow such a big deal it made the front page of Google News. Some of the articles site “distance” as being a reason they split. By this I think they mean the distance from the top of Klischko’s head to the top of Panettiere’s head – he’s got a solid foot and a half on her as she’s apparently only 5′ 2″. I know personally I couldn’t tolerate the height difference in the relationship.
Let me dive into some real reasons on why I think they split. I really think that Klischko finally got around to seeing “Scream 4″ and saw Panettiere’s hair and was nothing but creeped out (see right). I know she dropped from about a 9 to 6.5 in my book after seeing that movie. I also felt very ripped off after seeing it too which just turned me off as well. It’s possible that’s not a reason, but maybe Klischko saw “Amanda Knox: Murder on Trial in Italy” and thought that maybe Panettiere enjoyed that role so much that she might try to make her own real life movie out of it – “Hayden Panettiere: Murder on Trial in Ukraine.”
Or maybe it’s the fact that he hated spelling Panettiere in e-mails since I’m sure he would address her as “Hayden Panettiere” instead of “Snuggle Muffin” or “Dolphin Lover.” I’ve hated spelling her name just in this post, let alone in e-mails or love letters to her across the sea.
I just want you to notice I never once said anything bad about Wladamir Klischko as he could easily murder me if he read something he didn’t like about himself. I just wanted to make sure you all knew I didn’t mention how it could have been him and his looks which led Panettiere to say, “He’s 35 years old… takes a punches to the head for a living… looks like that now… I can do better…” Or you know what, maybe Hayden actually saw how Rocky ended and where his head was at and didn’t want to get any more attached to Klischko as she already was.