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Made Up Lifetime Movies That Sound Like Porn Movies

by | Nov 14, 2011 | Made Up Movies | 0 comments

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a Made Up Movies column and after listing all the Lifetime movies on my DVR, I figured I could take some of those, flip them around, and make them sound like adult movies, or what the kids like to call – porn.

1. Just Turned 21 (Influenced by Accused at 17)

Just because this one sounds like it could be a porn, doesn’t mean it has to have a porn-like story line.  Out of a group of friends, one of the friends turns 21 and buys alcohol for everyone else and they get in a big car crash and die.

#DrinkingAndDrivingAwareness

2. A Job to Screw For (Influenced by A Job to Kill For)

Okay, this title is a bit aggressive, but we’ve all heard a variation of this phrase in the workforce.  You see some young hottie high up in the corporate ladder and you ask, “Who’d she have to screw for that position?”  I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying it’s there.

As for the movie, it’s exactly what the title says it is.  A young woman, right out of college, screws her way to the top of the corporate ladder.  That’s not the end though, after she gets to the top, a young man does what she does and screws his way to the top and overtakes her.  No death in this one, not even from STDs.

 3. The Teacher’s Favorite Student (Influenced by A Teacher’s Crime)

 As a salute to the latest teacher sex scandal, allow me to make up a fake Lifetime movie that sounds like a porn.

 I think we should bring back Elizabeth Berkley to this one to reprise her role as the sexy chemistry teacher (just as she was in Student Seduction).  Only this time, instead of being happily married to a doctor and following the rules of the school district, she instead breaks them and starts an inappropriate relationship with a student.  However, since it’s consensual on both ends, is it really all that inappropriate?

 Instead of the teacher ending up in a court room and going to jail, which I don’t always think is fair, Elizabeth Berkley and the student run away together and the boy gives up his family to be with her.

If Michael Cera can pull off a dramatic role as a high schooler, I’d like to see him play the seduced student, but his career isn’t at that point yet and this movie would just turn into a comedy, no matter how hard he tried.

4. His Married Father 8 (influenced by Her Married Lover)

 His dad might be married, but is his dad’s wife faithful?  Not one bit, as she goes after the over 18 years of age stepson.  Shoot, this sounds a lot like My Stepson, My Lover.  Well eff, I’ll have to think this one out a bit more…

 How about Her Married Mother instead?  This is the reverse of my original title, the mom has a hot husband and he falls for the over 18 years of age daughter.  This one ends with the daughter going to jail after trying to murder her mom.

I added the “8” to the end because of the high number of sequels in the adult entertainment industry.

5. Two Women, One Man (Influenced by My Apparently Dirty Mind)

Pretty sure the porno version of this one is already made.  Okay, I’ll admit it, I found various versions of this one while doing my “research” for this post.  Two Large Women, One Man or Two Blonde Women, One Dark Man… you name it and it’s probably there.  This movie is simple though, one guy who is dating two women who don’t know about each other.  Everything is fine and dandy until the player slips in his unfaithful ways and the girls find out about each other.  Only instead of wanting to get revenge on the guy, they want to get rid of each other so they can have the man all to themselves.