Select Page

Made Up Lifetime Movies from… Famous Sports Clichés

by | Aug 13, 2011 | Made Up Movies | 0 comments

With the NFL, excuse me, National Football League, season rolling around, I thought it’d be fun to take some well known sports clichés and fit them into Lifetime movie titles.  If you’re like me, you probably get annoyed at the clichés and how overused they are by national TV broadcast stations – you probably think, “They’re paying this former pro player a lot of money to say what every other former pro player is saying?”  I don’t mean every sports broadcaster is bad, there are plenty of great ones out there, but at the same time, there are plenty of terrible ones out there too.

Let’s cut to the movies:

“She is What She is”

The cliché – “He is what he is”

The cliché used in a sports related sentence – “He’s not quite a running back and he’s not quite a wide receiver, at this point of his career, he is what he is.”

Fake Movie Synopsis:

Plastic surgery seems to be the thing to do these days.  Sammie, an aspiring model decides she needs to be better.  She wants to be the most beautiful woman a man has ever seen.  Although she’s already attractive, she decides she needs plastic surgery to make sure she’s a 10 for all the modeling agents.

She plans on pulling a Heidi Montag and getting everything done – boobs, lips, lipo, etc. – but her mom finds out about her plan and tries to convince her otherwise.

Sammie just doesn’t listen and ends up going through with the surgeries and everything goes completely wrong.  Complications and infections mess her up, so instead of being the perfect 10 she thought she’d be, she’s now a psycho looking 4, but hey, she is what she is.

 “Monday Morning in the Sack”

The cliché – “Monday-Morning Quarterback”

The cliché used in a sports related sentence – (Radio sports show host) “Let me play the role of Monday-Morning Quarterback and tell you what they did wrong.”

Fake Movie Synopsis:

A high ranking CEO in a company, Earl, has to go on frequent business trips, but his trips aren’t only about business, but also pleasure.  Every Sunday night, he flies out of his home town, away from his wife, to his business destination for the week and has a different woman in every city he frequents – this is actually quite common in professional sports – so Earl wakes up to a different woman every Monday morning.

Eventually Earl’s wife finds out about his affairs and takes matters into her own hands by hunting down each woman Earl has on the side and sending threatening photos/letters to them to scare them away from Earl.

Earl soon finds himself alone in each city until the last city he’s in, when he calls his woman to come over, his wife shows up to confront him (and possibly murder him too, I’ll leave that up to you).

“Giving Her 110 Percent”

The cliché – “I’m going to give 110 percent”

The cliché used in a sports related sentence – “I hear what the media says about me, but I’m going to give 110 percent when I get on the court.”

Fake Movie Synopsis:

After Desmond is caught cheating on his wife, he knows his marriage is coming to the end of the road.  Lucky for him, he gets a second chance to prove his love to his wife and show her that she’s all that matters to him and the affair meant nothing.

Desmond decides to give his wife 110 percent of his love and becomes a better man after the affair.  His wife takes him back and their marriage ends up being stronger because of it.

  “Taking It One Man at a Time”

The cliché – “Taking it one game at a time”

The cliché used in a sports related sentence – “Yeah, we know we’re the favorites to win the championship, but we’re taking it one game at a time.”

Fake Movie Synopsis:

A woman, Rachel, who has been heartbroken eight-too-many-times decides to turn the tables on the men she dates.  Instead of being taken advantage by womanizing men, she becomes a manizing woman.  She finds young men to pray on and get their hopes up and then she just leaves them out to dry.

You’d probably think most men are into this, but she finds men through an online dating site who are looking for commitment instead of a one night stand.  She plays this game for quite some time while bragging to her girlfriends about it until one day she meets her match.

Instead of getting a guy who she thinks is looking for a commitment, she finds a man, Bryan, who’s the male version of her.  Like Rachel, Bryan has had his heartbroken many times by women so he decided to become a womanizer by going after women who want committed relationships.

Rachel and Bryan end up falling in love and quitting their silly games – no murder, sorry.

 “Her Back Against the Wall”

The cliché – “Backs against the wall”

The cliché used in a sports related sentence – “They have to win this game, they have their backs against the wall.”

 Fake Movie Synopsis:

The ex-husband of Julie, a single mother of three, is threatening to take full custody of the children if she can’t get her act together.

Julie was a college dropout and her ex-husband always supported her until he was caught with his pants down at the office Christmas party, which prompted Julie to leave him and take the kids.  Considering Julie doesn’t have much going for her in life, it’d be easy for her ex-hubby to take full custody of the children, but he’s willing to give her a chance to redeem herself and show she’s capable of keeping the kids and giving them the right home to be raised in.

The ex-husband pays for Julie to go through law school and earn her law degree and while in the process Julie falls in love with a male class mate who loves her children.  Not only does Julie graduate from law school, she gets married to her classmate sweetheart.  I guess when push came to shove and Julie’s back was against the wall, she was able to deliver.

[UPDATE: After writing this post, I realize Lifetime has a series called Against the Wall.  I’d seen multiple advertisements for this so I should have known before hand.  It looks like a cliché show, being a cop drama, with cliché advertisements, such as “The summer’s hottest new drama…”]